Behind the Villainy
by Mr Nuked Duck
Summary: Most people only know Drakken and Shego as dysfunctional partners-in-crime, but what they don't know is that there is a lot more going on between those two when they're not trying to take over the world. Various oneshots focusing mainly on Drakken and Shego in every-day-situations, with it's own bizarre little twists, of course. Hints of romance, lots of comedy. Enjoy!


**Many, many great thanks to my awesome friend _Rhaella_ for letting me use her DS-drawing as a cover! You can find her here on FF by using this link: u/1941171/Rhaella-Valysar**

**Or look her up on Deviantart, ****Shadowgirl416**, for more awesome DS-art! Enjoy!  


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It was a calm friday afternoon in the Caribbean lair. Aside from the clock ticking away second by second, there wasn't much to hear besides the tropical birds squawking in the background. Remaining true to his character, Dr. Drakken was as per usual cooped up in his old lab, working on yet another _sure-to-fail-project_, no doubt. Being the kind of work-force they were, the henchmen had chosen to pick a more relaxed way to initiate their weekend, heading into town for their weekly taco-night. Now, while these may have _seemed_ like pretty pointless activities, at least they were productive in it's own, sad kind of way. Shego, on the other hand, felt like she had way too much time on her energized hands for once.

Her magazines were outdated, her tan-lamp was broken, her training had been finished and the TV showed nothing but trash. Plus, the henchmen had taken all the hover-cars, so going into town wouldn't have been an option even if she hadn't been on the clock.

''Bill, bill, cheap ad, bill, coupon for Smarty-mart, bill...'' Shego listed boringly as she walked through the day's mail, tossing aside anything and everything that didn't interest her as she chewed on her bubblegum, walking down one of the lair's many hallways. ''Sale on LRO-shampoo, bill, bill- Oooh, is that...? No, wait- another bill...!''

_***WHZZZAP- BOOOM!***_ a ruckus suddenly shook the cave, making Shego jolt in surprise and drop the mail she had been holding in her hands.

_''BLAST!''_ Drakken's sharp voice suddenly cut through the door on her immediate left, followed shortly by a series of wild coughs.

Giving the door a confused stare, Shego remained frozen for a couple of seconds as she listened for any more strange noises. Aside from a couple of muffled, barely audible insults, there were none. Finally assuming that it was safe to move again, the villainess thoughtfully began to chew on her gum, contemplating whether or not to enter the lab to see what was going on. After all, there was never any real way of telling what exactly you were going to encounter when you entered the lab of Dr. Drew "Drakken" Theodore Lipsky.

On one hand, it _could_ be something hilarious. _"Mocking-gold"_ as she had so conveniently dubbed it. _Or_ it could end up being one of those huge hassles, like that one time he accidentally sprayed himself with a liquifying formula. It had taken Shego _ages_ to scoop him off the floor, not to mention having to scout out his left arm after it slipped down a sewer-drain. Just _thinking_ about it made her clothes seem to reek again.

Still, that whole formula-thing _had_ been pretty darn amusing! Say what you wanted about Dr. D, but he sure knew how keep his sidekick entertained.

''Meh! I'll bite!'' Shego finally decided with a shrug, walking up to the metallic door and casually tapping in the memorized code, all the while blowing pink bubbles with her gum.

As the door slid open, Shego was met by a scene that - although calling it odd would be an _understatement_ – looked pretty basic to her.

There was Dr. Drakken, wobbling around the room with a welding-mask strapped to his face, his blue lab-gear reeking of smoke as he fought not to loose his swaying balance. Then there was the huge, ray-gun-looking thingy standing in the far end of the room, steam still coming out of it's pipe, indicating very recent use – and most likely _unintentional_ at that. Last but not least, there was the medium-sized _crater_ now engraved in the lab's floor, located exactly where the ray-gun was pointing to and most likely what Dr. D had stumbled out from in the first place.

Yup, this had failed experiment written _all_ over it! All that was left to figure out was whether or not she could get a good laugh out of the situation.

''Hey, Dr. D! You okay or should I get a _mop_ ready?'' Shego smirked as she crossed her arms, kicking him a wheeled chair to sit on.

Her only response was a disoriented grunt as the blue-skinned scientist finally lost his footing, landing on the incoming chair with a heavy thump.

_''Mhmm...!''_ Drakken groaned dizzily as he reached under the welding-mask to wipe an itchy, tingling feeling off his face. ''I... I was trying out my latest invention, but - _***Cough!***_ - something must have gone terribly wrong!''

''Ya _think_?'' Shego leered him a sarcastic smile as she kicked a rock down the black crater, eventually turning to the ray-gun. ''So whatta you call this new piece of hardware?''

''It's called the...'' Drakken paused briefly to wipe away some ash from his visor. ''...the _Pilos amplifier_!''

_''Pilos, pilos...!''_ Shego mumbled as she rubbed her chin thoughtfully, bursting another pink bubble between her lips. ''That's Latin, right? Pretty sure I heard it mentioned last time I was in Rome. _Was it at the barber's...?''_

''Mhpf! There must be an answer in _here_ somewhere!'' Drakken grumbled as he grabbed a chart from a nearby table, flipping the welding-mask open as he began to search for an answer. ''Let's see here...! Power-values are stable... there's nothing wrong with the amplifier...'' Pausing momentarily, Drakken turned to inspect a component in the corner of the room. ''...contact's plugged in...!''

Humming thoughtfully over this dilemma, Drakken was just about to resume his check-list when a loud snicker suddenly cut him off, making his expression go from puzzled to confused.

Turning towards the source of the snicker, Drakken's expression practically dropped in befuddlement as he noticed Shego wretched over in what looked to be _amusement_.

There she was, standing just a couple of feet away from him, hands over her mouth to stop herself from bursting out in laughter as her squinting eyes gawked at him like a small child at a cartoon. It was a rare sight, indeed, seeing her this peppy. It was so rare, in fact, that it actually made Drakken slightly uncomfortable.

''Um, Shego? Why are you... looking at me like that?'' Drakken asked, a doubtful eyebrow arching at his grinning partner. Last time he had asked her that, things hadn't ended too well...! ''Is... there something on my face?''

That was apparently the drop that made the cup spill over.

''_Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!_'' Shego burst out in a shrieking fit of laughter, holding her stomach as she stumbled backwards, trying her best not to fall over and tumble to the floor.

''What? _What_?!'' Drakken demanded in an angry voice, not eager on being left out of the loop like this. ''What's so funny?!''

_'Wait!'_ a thought suddenly struck him. _'Is there actually something on my face?'_

With this sudden realization in mind, Drakken immediately began to search his surroundings for a mirror of some sort, all the while Shego continued her laughing-fit with great enthusiasm, having to spit out her gum in order to not choke on it. Finally managing to snatch up a blank rim from one of the tables, Drakken's eyes widened to proportions thought impossible as he stared baffled at his own, strange reflection.

''Oh! Wait, wait, wait!'' Shego heaved as she fought to regain her composure, leaning against a nearby table. ''I've- I've actually been saving some jokes for this occasion! Just... give me a sec!'' she continued to heave, completely ignoring her boss' bitter expression.

''Okay, okay, I think I got it...!'' Shego said as she finally rose from her laughing-fit. Still grinning widely at the scientist's new facial-feature, she began flipping through a small notebook she had been carrying with her. ''Let's see here...! We've got anti-Santa, something about Billy Gibbons and a graffiti-accident...! Just- just give me a minute, I'll find something good!''

''You're really enjoying this, aren't you?'' Drakken glared at her as he stroked his black beard from top to bottom, feeling out his new facial-hair with an angry frown. ''I've always dreamed about having a beard, you know...! Only, _mother_ would never let me!''

''Oh, please, _Abe_, don't be such a whiner!'' Shego smiled as she kept flipping pages, still not looking up from her notebook. ''If you're _in_ the sitch now, you might as well make the most of it!''

''By making fun of me?'' Drakken felt like choking something.

''That's what I love about working with you, Dr. D!'' Shego chirped as she flipped another page, pausing briefly to smile at him. ''You always know how liven up my day!''

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**Reference-list**

**LRO-shampoo: Lather, Rinse & Obey - the mind-controlling shampoo from the episode _"Rappin' Drakken"_.**

**Mocking-gold: Reference from the episode _"Mad dogs and aliens"_.**

**Pilos-amplifier: Pilos is Latin for _hair_. An amplifier is something that increases stuff - like sound - or in this case: hair-growth.**

"**Last time he had asked her that...": Reference to the episode _"Emotion sickness"_. (One of my favorites.)**

**Billy Gibbons: Lead-singer and guitarist for the American Rock-band _ZZ Top_, known for their crafty beards.**

**Abe: Referring to honest, bearded _Abraham Lincoln_, of course.**


End file.
